What is a Highly Sensitive Person?

Hello and welcome to the Sensitive Life Well Lived! I am so glad you decided to join me. This is a safe space for those who identify as Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), those who are curious about being an HSP and their family, friends and loved ones. It’s my hope that I can serve as a guide to understanding and celebrating high sensitivity!

So what do the terms “high sensitivity,” or “highly sensitive person” actually mean? The term “highly sensitive person” was first coined by psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron, along with her husband Dr. Arthur Aron, in 1991. In her book “The Highly Sensitive Person,” first published in 1996, she introduced the idea to the world. In Dr. Elaine Aron’s words, a highly sensitive person is one who has a “sensitive nervous system, is aware of subtleties in his/her surroundings, and is more easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment.” The Arons also developed a self-test that can be used to determine if you are a highly sensitive person. (On a personal note, I felt very seen when I took this quiz — there was a name for people like me!)

Research on high sensitivity, along with many other neurodivergent traits, has expanded significantly in the 2010’s and 2020’s, and high sensitivity has entered mainstream psychology. The medical term that is usually used now is “sensory processing sensitivity,” and terms like “highly sensitive person” are used more for identity purposes.

All of this interest in research has led to some wonderful discoveries. We now know that high sensitivity exists equally among different races and genders, and the Arons estimate that around 15-20% of the population qualifies as an HSP. We also know that HSPs tend to be on the introverted side, but introversion and high sensitivity are different traits. (I am planning a post sometime in the future on the difference between introversion and high sensitivity!)

But the biggest discoveries have been in the areas of brain anatomy.  Scientists have known for several years that sensitivity exists on a spectrum, and that, like many spectrums in nature, most people end up somewhere in the middle. It is also widely considered that high sensitivity is at least partly genetic, meaning you can inherit it from one or both of your parents. (I certainly did: my mom is also an HSP, and we often swap stories about it. She also helps edit this blog. Love you, Mom!) Recent studies may go a long way to explaining why: HSP brains are simply built differently than those of our neurotypical friends.

All brains of all humans everywhere work by using connections between neurons, or brain cells. Messages come to your brain from your body via chemical and electrical signals, bounce around in your brain while they get processed, and then get sent back out to your body in order to get a response. There is a blizzard outside my window as I write this. If, for example, I were to go out in the storm without warm clothes, my feet and fingers would soon send the message to my brain that they were cold. That message would be received by my brain and processed, and then a message would be sent back to my body telling my muscles to start shivering in an effort to keep myself warm.  This would be true for anyone.  However, recent studies find that HSPs have additional neurons in their brains, especially in areas dealing with relationships, emotions, senses and memory. More neurons means more information.  So, in my snow example, a neurotypical brain may send an “I’m cold message” from a hundred or so neurons. The HSP brain may send the same message from several hundred neurons. That is equivalent to the difference between saying “I’m cold” and screaming “I’M COLD!”

However, the extra neurons in HSP brains are not only limited to walks in the snow without a coat. HSP’s process all stimuli intensely. Positive stimuli (some examples are delicious food, warm sunlight, a hug, etc.,) are processed with the same intensity as negative stimuli (being cold, foods you hate and a slap in the face). Internal stimuli like emotional stimuli are also processed with the same intensity as external stimuli, such as loud noises or strong smells. A lot of (though not all) HSPs can also process others’ emotions in the same way they process their own. I often describe it to people as having all of my senses turned up to 11. If something is going on in our environment, we will notice it.

All of the information buzzing around our brains can be beautiful and a gift.  We are known to experience music and art more deeply. We also love deeply. That, along with our ability to empathize with others and their emotions, make us excellent friends, partners and caregivers (many HSPs work in caring professions such as healthcare, education, social work and pastoral ministry). However, having extra sensory information can be a curse as well. We are more prone to anxiety and depression. When we experience emotions, we experience them intensely, and all intense emotions can be overwhelming for us, even joy. HSPs often need more sleep than the rest of the population: sleep is shown to play a significant role in mental and emotional health, and our mental and emotional health needs lots of fine-tuning. And, all of that empathy and compassion means that the suffering of others can deeply distress us. I graduated from nursing school in 2020, went to work at a local hospital and soon found myself fighting on the frontlines of Covid. I did what I could for my patients, but actively struggled with my emotions, even days after a shift. I actively avoided watching new movies or reading new books if I thought they would contain any bit of sadness. I simply could not handle it, and turned to familiar, comforting choices instead. (Mostly Jane Austen and Disney). I found myself becoming angry at others, such as my roommate. How could she possibly care that the living room hadn’t been dusted? Didn’t she know there were people dying?

Self-care and actively seeking wellness are important for all of us, but especially for those of us who are sensitive. We need them to function in our crazy, over-stimulated world. And they might look different from the practices used by our neurotypical peers. But they are worth it. A life lived well on your terms is worth it. Thanks for joining me on this journey, there is definitely more to come!